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Grubble Grubble
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Tuesday, June 09, 2009 :::
Ensemble...
The secret to success is sincerity; once you have learned to fake that, you have it made.
I wonder how many people actually believe that statement? I used to. I remember once, my beloved was ranting about her daily life, and I told her that I thought she was becoming a negative person.
Later that day, I watched her as she interacted with those around her and the joy she brought them. It made me smile and realize that she was in no way a negative person. My epiphany for that day was that she loved and trusted me enough to allow me to be the sounding board for her most personal thoughts and feelings. And, that day, I had failed her.
I hope she understood the sincerity of my apology to her.
She inspired good feelings in those around her and she exhibited a joyous mood. But it is impossible to be constantly joyous. I imagine a certain tedium in that state of being.
In order for her to be the best person she could be for the mood of those she loved, she had to burn off the negative that is heaped on us daily. I was her conduit for release. She never dissembled with those around her or with me. She lived a life of sincerity. She was a good friend to many, including me.
Was she a saint? To me… yes. But my view is colored by my deep and abiding love for her. She had all the failings and foibles that come with the human condition. But she knew how to box them when needed. She understood release. And most of all, she understood the timing of release.
Certainly, we do not have to be perfect for our friends. They would not be our friends if that requirement loomed over the relationship. Our friends are there to love us, and prop us up when needed. But how many of us abuse that aspect of friendship?
I am quite guilty of too often being the center of my own attention. Of forgetting that my friends have lives, thoughts, and needs that it is my honor, and responsibility as a friend, to acknowledge and share.
I am reminded of a very important rule of improv. Never hog focus. Take it and then pass it along. Friendship is a group effort and should not be a burden for anyone in the relationship.
We should constantly remind ourselves that friends share common hopes, fears, and desires. It is important for us to acknowledge this regularly or the friendship will fade. We must remember that friendship is an ensemble, not a star with supporting players.
Take some time and put a friend first for a while. Listen when they need to talk. Put your desires on the back burner and allow yourself to experience their view of the world. Let them use you as a conduit for release when needed, without judgement. You will be surprised as to what you may learn about your friends and yourself in the process.
Most importantly, be sincere in your love for others.
Namaste
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