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Monday, June 15, 2009 :::
Going with the flow...
We are handed things every day without realizing that we may need them. We sometimes cannot see that what is taken from us, or what we are not allowed to have, affect the future of our lives in ways more profound than we can sometimes know.
I have not always been good about going with the flow of my life and accepting it as it comes. It can be subtle at times or it can enjoin us to follow a set path. The trick is knowing when to allow the flow and when we need to push back.
There is a gig that I have wanted for quite some time. Partly, because it would be a very fun performing opportunity, and partly because I have friends who work there as well and I love performing with my friends. The day before the audition, which involved singing as well as cold-reads, I lost my voice.
We are three performers short at Gatorland and that means more work for everyone else. As well, my counterpart at Medieval Times was on vacation so my show schedule was just about doubled. After 30+ shows, my voice cracked.
Suffice it to say, this prevented a good audition for me. This aside, I will fully admit that the entire field was outclassed by a very good performer. This is not a part I will get. I am ok with that.
I do not believe in fate. I am a believer in Manifest Destiny. However, I do believe the Universe gives us little nudges in the direction we need to go. Sadly, we tend to miss them by getting caught up in the day-to-day minutiae of our lives.
This job would further cement my status as a Floridian. I believe the Universe is telling me that this is not the path I need to follow. My life belongs elsewhere and I must continue to move towards that destination.
We must all stop occasionally and listen to the rhythms of our lives. How many of us find profound sadness in our daily lives? Is is because we push against the flow of our lives within the Universe? Or because we, perhaps, have trouble reconciling the path we need to follow with the dreams and ambitions of our ego?
All of life is a lesson and a journey designed to get us to an ultimate destination. Take a moment every now and again and learn how to travel forward.
Namaste
Tuesday, June 09, 2009 :::
Ensemble...
The secret to success is sincerity; once you have learned to fake that, you have it made.
I wonder how many people actually believe that statement? I used to. I remember once, my beloved was ranting about her daily life, and I told her that I thought she was becoming a negative person.
Later that day, I watched her as she interacted with those around her and the joy she brought them. It made me smile and realize that she was in no way a negative person. My epiphany for that day was that she loved and trusted me enough to allow me to be the sounding board for her most personal thoughts and feelings. And, that day, I had failed her.
I hope she understood the sincerity of my apology to her.
She inspired good feelings in those around her and she exhibited a joyous mood. But it is impossible to be constantly joyous. I imagine a certain tedium in that state of being.
In order for her to be the best person she could be for the mood of those she loved, she had to burn off the negative that is heaped on us daily. I was her conduit for release. She never dissembled with those around her or with me. She lived a life of sincerity. She was a good friend to many, including me.
Was she a saint? To me… yes. But my view is colored by my deep and abiding love for her. She had all the failings and foibles that come with the human condition. But she knew how to box them when needed. She understood release. And most of all, she understood the timing of release.
Certainly, we do not have to be perfect for our friends. They would not be our friends if that requirement loomed over the relationship. Our friends are there to love us, and prop us up when needed. But how many of us abuse that aspect of friendship?
I am quite guilty of too often being the center of my own attention. Of forgetting that my friends have lives, thoughts, and needs that it is my honor, and responsibility as a friend, to acknowledge and share.
I am reminded of a very important rule of improv. Never hog focus. Take it and then pass it along. Friendship is a group effort and should not be a burden for anyone in the relationship.
We should constantly remind ourselves that friends share common hopes, fears, and desires. It is important for us to acknowledge this regularly or the friendship will fade. We must remember that friendship is an ensemble, not a star with supporting players.
Take some time and put a friend first for a while. Listen when they need to talk. Put your desires on the back burner and allow yourself to experience their view of the world. Let them use you as a conduit for release when needed, without judgement. You will be surprised as to what you may learn about your friends and yourself in the process.
Most importantly, be sincere in your love for others.
Namaste
Sunday, June 07, 2009 :::
Service...
I had planned another post that I had been working on, but then something happened. Today is normally a day off for me and given the number of hours I work during any given week, my days off are precious to me. A co-worker needed a day off and I got called to come in.
Now, I was tired to begin with because I went out drinking and dancing last night with a friend and did not come home until very late. When I was woken by my phone, I had only had about 5 hours of sleep (of course, I was also woken earlier by my birds). Here is now where the choice comes.
I could have said no. They cannot force me to come in on a day off. There were enough people to perform all the shows. However, without me, no one would have been able to take a break during the day. Having run from show to show on too many occasions myself, I am sensitive to others having to do so. When the call came, I knew I was going to work. No choice.
Now, here is the real choice. I could have been bitter about going into work. I could very easily have developed a negative attitude and allowed myself to plunge into the depths of that feeling. I was tired, a bit hung over, and I really was looking forward to a relaxing day.
I chose to be positive about this. I am a performer and I now had an opportunity to perform. Plus, I remembered what my friend, Merg, had said about how I have changed people’s lives. Besides, I was going in for 3 hours at best. This would be 3 shows and a chance at some human interaction with guests and other performers who were my friends. Today became a very good day.
Now, this sounds like a story about having a positive attitude towards life, and it is to some extent. However, this is not the main point I want to express.
I want to talk about service. After my beloved died, and I had worked out my own issues relating, I realized that the noblest thing I could do was to live a life of service. This is how it begins. I spent today at work in service of others. It was joyful service to others because I was prescient enough to realize that I had this opportunity.
We all can choose to live a life of service or become self-serving. I lament that it seems that society teaches us to look out for ourselves, many times at the expense of those around us. We are taught to do unto others before they do unto us.
How easy could it be to change? Help a friend move, open a door for someone, or just find a way to make someone smile. This is service. Sometimes, a sympathetic ear can be the best service you can offer.
Too many times in my life, I have been guilty of not living a life of service. I lament the missed opportunities to help someone because I was too caught up in my own life and issues. I lament any moment I lost with my beloved because of a self-centered nature.
We do need to remember to take care of ourselves, but that sometimes means putting someone else first. Service is not a life of obligation, it is a life of reward. Help someone now and they will help you later, but do not expect it. Just enjoy it if it happens. Besides, your service can strengthen a friendship and how can this not be a joyful thing?
Commit to mindset of service. When you wake up each morning, remind yourself that you will improve your day, and someone else’s day, through service. Reap the benefits, both spiritual and material, from service.
Namaste
Friday, June 05, 2009 :::
Ponderings...
We seem to have lost our compassion and that frightens me. When I lamented the loss of David Carradine, a friend of mine asked me why I was sad because "that old guy" killed himself. She could not fathom why I was upset. What has happened to us? Are we so jaded? Are we so lost? Is our national character so blackened that we no longer care for others and believe that torture is not just morally relevant, but actually moral?
I have often lamented that we are living in the decline of an empire, but this seems to prove it. And it is not an empire worth mourning. I recently had to avoid a rather stupid debate with a conservative friend of a friend of mine who essentially equated poverty with criminalism. Since when is it a crime to be poor? I realize that we are a free-market economy, but since when does money equate to moral superiority?
We are all the stars of our own movies. And with rare exception we tend to see ourselves as hero/heroine. I wonder how we would see things if we could step outside the movie and see ourselves from the view of the audience? Are we sympathetic characters? Are we heroes or simply protagonists?
I have always viewed myself as a good guy. But lately, when I step outside myself, I see myself more and more as a protagonist and not the hero. I work hard to live a good life, but I cannot say I have lived up to my own image of myself. I can see the pain I have caused in my life. For little good reason. I can feel my lack of compassion.
I do not think I am a monster. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I have a dear friend who likes to remind me on a regular basis that I bring much joy to the lives of many people. He regularly points out to me the lives I have touched and changed for the good. I love him for this and I need to hear this sometimes. We all do.
We must regularly examine our lives and truly look at ourselves long enough to see the warts along with the pearls. And we must change. Understanding our failings is not the same as making meaningful change.
The empire is in decline. That is the nature of time and civilization. But there is no reason why we, as individuals, should allow ourselves to decline as well. Seek change. Find compassion and make it a meaningful part of your thought and action. Choose to live a meaningful life.
Friday, November 03, 2006 :::
On Super Tuesday, I am going to vote. Although we are set up to allow for a secret vote, I am more than willing to let everyone know that I plan on voting a fairly straight Democratic Party-line ticket this go-round. My reason for this is because I am totally opposed to the agenda of the White House and the Republican Party right now. I firmly believe that a majority of Americans agree with me to at least some extent right now.
Do I believe that the Democrats will take control of Congress? No.
But not because I believe people will vote for the Democrats, but because I believe the machines without paper trails are geared to vote for the Republicans. Time and time again in the past few weeks, I have read about people early voting and noticing that even though they voted straight Democrat, the verification screens show straight Republican votes. I have read how it took these people, and the election workers helping them, 3-4 attempts to get the machines to register the actual votes these people were trying to cast.
In the last week I have read how the Republican-controlled congress has finally begun making noise about how we must investigate a voting machine company. Not because of what is written above, but because it has been purchased by a company that has distant ties to Hugo Chavez.
The most compelling evidence to me that this regime has full knowledge and is planning on stealing yet another election has to do with legislation that the President has just signed into law.
Public Law 109-364, or the "John Warner Defense Authorization Act of 2007" (H.R.5122) (2), signed on October 17th, 2006, allows the President to declare a "public emergency" and station troops anywhere in America and take control of state-based National Guard units without the consent of the governor or local authorities, in order to "suppress public disorder."
For those in the know, this is a repeal of the 1878 Posse Comitatus Act outlawing military operations directed against the American people under the cover of 'law enforcement.'
"Enforcement of the laws to restore public order" means to commandeer guardsmen from any state, over the objections of local governmental, military and local police entities; ship them off to another state; conscript them in a law enforcement mode; and set them loose against "disorderly" citizenry, i.e. protesters.
Combine this with the fact that Halliburton has been awarded a $385 mil. contract to build detention camps HERE IN AMERICA and a very chilling picture begins to form.
But Mark, we live in the U.S. This is just fear-mongering. Maybe, but ask the Japanese-Americans who spent WWII in internment camps for no good reason whatsoever, in many cases losing everything they worked for in the "land of the free."
Martial Law is coming folks. Take your blinders off. Bush is setting himself up as an American Dictator.
Most importantly, if you are using a paperless voting machine, double-check the verification screen very carefully before you press the vote button.
Saturday, September 10, 2005 :::
Taken from Daniel Kurtzman...
25 Mind-Numbingly Stupid Quotes About Hurricane Katrina And Its Aftermath
Taken from Eleanor Clift's Newsweek column (Sept. 10, 2005)...
'Bill Clinton understands the impact of a disaster. His inability to cope with an influx of Cuban refugees in 1980 contributed to his defeat as governor. He recovered and came back to win again. Clinton, who toured the Houston Astrodome with former president Bush, must have been aghast when Barbara Bush mused how many of the people being housed “were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them.” We’ve gone from compassionate conservatism to Marie Antoinette. As much as the Bushes disparaged Clinton over the years, they want him nearby as a human shield to show they’re capable of reaching out beyond the narrow confines of class and partisan politics. The irony of a Republican president now looking to the credibility of the last Democrat in the White House to maintain his standing reveals the extent to which Bush has fallen politically.'
I especially appreciate his comparison of Barbara Bush and Marie Antoinette. Everyone used to refer to this woman as America's mother when Bush 41 was in office. I have always said this woman was a complete tin-plated bitch putting on a facade based on an experience I had with her during Bush 41's vice-presidency. Everyone always told me how sweet and nice she seemed.
Feeling a bit vindicated now.
By the way, I am curious about something?
Why are the NOLA police confiscating guns from everyone else in the city while allowing the rich to have armed guards on their houses? Many of those guns being confiscated are for personal protection from the armed gangs traveling the city and are legally registered and constitutionally allowed. Since when did possessions become more important than people?
Oh wait... I forgot. Emperor Bush is in office. My bad.
2000 years later we still talk about how Emperor Nero fiddled while Rome burned. (Historically Nero was supposed to have played a lyre while Rome burned but the quote was always fiddle.) Do you think in 2000 years they'll talk about how Emperor Bush played golf while NOLA drowned?
Would have have rushed home immediately if they would have removed the feeding tube from someone in the Superdome?
Thursday, August 25, 2005 :::
I basically abandoned this blog about a year ago because I doubt that anyone is reading it. I still doubt it, but I am going to start simul-blogging here from the blog that I went to.
Cindy Sheehan...
To say this woman is a divisive figure is an understatement. To say that she is passionate is a truth. To say anything else about her is a gray area.
While I support the anti-war effort, I believe that Cindy Sheehan is actually undermining it. She is obviously a mother stricken with grief at the loss of her son. For that, my heart goes out to her. It is not the natural order of things for a parent to bury an adult child.
However, Cindy Sheehan, in her grief, or for other reasons, has decided to make this an issue about Israel and not the fanaticism of one American President. She has made statements that border, if not cross the line, on anti-Semitism. To insinuate that this is, or has ever been, a war to defend the rights of Israel is pure hubris on her part.
Such statements only serve to undermine the honest anti-war efforts of millions of Americans. They marginalize everything that decent activists stand for. I find it difficult to support the efforts of a woman who has added men like David Duke (of KKK fame) to her friends and supporters roster. When asked about her anti-Israel statements, she denied making them, even in the face of quoted text.
Many people are giving Cindy Sheehan credit for reinvigorating the anti-war movement. The anti-war movement in this country has been alive and well and led by good people of conscience. She is not who I choose to call the face of my anti-war efforts. I prefer if my efforts are never associated with hers. I hope that others of good conscience do not allow their efforts to be sidetracked and perverted by the lure of riding her coattails for the hopes of some peripheral media attention.
Cindy Sheehan is no more than the latest soundbyte and she is now the latest example of lazy journalism. It is easier to write and rewrite articles about Sheehan than it is to go out and find real stories. To maybe investigate the truths behind allegations in this war. I mourn the loss of true investigative journalism in this country and wish that a new generation of young turk journalists would get off their lazy asses and stand true to the passion and commitment of men like Woodward and Bernstein.
I have no use for President Bush, but I cannot say that I agree with Sheehan's assertions that he is required to meet with her.
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